Sarah says it just right. [Sunday, November 8th, 2009 @ 8:24pm] ______emilyanne You're only going to get what you give away, so give love. postttttt

Lost Friends [Wednesday, November 4th, 2009 @ 3:18pm] early__bird [ mood | hungry ] [ music | Nikki in my ears ] I've recently become re-connected with a best friend from High School. I stopped hanging out with her because of the way she was, the things she did. We talk more often now and have even chilled a few times. I honestly have to say that I missed her. It was so easy getting to know each other again, yet I feel that she's scared. She lives far and we can't hang out as much, but part of me thinks that she is afraid, either that or she doesn't want to hang out. I would like to hang out with her more often, but I don't want to have to save someone that I can't save. I don't want to feel strange about things we do or things we say. I don't want to have her revert to the way she was, to the person that I didn't like. Part of me feels that she is so disconnected with her life that she doesn't know how to be my friend again. This kind of bothers me, because I find myself missing her friendship now that we actually talk again. I wait for her to call me or text me, and sometimes I don't get a reply when I make the first move. I don't know if it's just laziness on her part or both of our parts, but I wish it was easier. In high school we talked everyday, and it was so easy. I feel like there are too many excuses in this friendship so far. It shouldn't be that difficult to hang out with someone. Should I start making the first move more often? Or should I wait for her to do it first? Friendships shouldn't be like relationships! They're easier and for some reason this isn't easy to me! Is it so bad that I want the best friend I had in high school that made me feel invincible? The person who knew my soul and I hers? I feel gay typing this. But whatever. I want the person that I loved as a person back! And I want to see her more often! Maybe I'm just used to having friendships like mine and Nik's. We talk everyday and see each other all the time (when she's not at school). I love her as my sister except differently. Like a soul sister. She is my soul sister and it's amazing that I have a friendship like that. What's so wrong with wanting that with this person? We had that before. I guess it's not going to happen so soon this time. I was the one that wanted to move slowly with becoming friends again, but now I guess I'm expecting more too fast. This is really gay actually. I just want to be friends like we were before she was dumb. I don't have many friends that I'm super close with here anymore, and it would be nice to have that friendship back before all the bullshit. Whatever though I guess only time will tell. postttttt

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